Friday, October 01, 2010

Today I Choose...

Today is the 3rd anniversary of my daddy's death. In full disclosure, I realize that what is right for me as I walk through this grief is not always right for others, including those in my own family. And that's okay... there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Knowing that, today I choose:
*to laugh often
*to drink a Coke with ice from a straw (and preferably a large cup) and let Ephraim sneak some like my dad used to let us
*to visit the memorial tree in honor of my dad at the hospital in Jackson
*to eat Banana Cream pie
*to remind my sister Michelle that Daddy would have rooted for the Pac-10 and NOT Boise State
*to snuggle Ephraim close and sweetly remember that my last conversation with my daddy was about Ephraim and how excited Daddy was to have another grandchild
*to kiss both of my kids and tell them their Boppa loves them
*to call my mom and tell her I love her
*to pray a prayer of thanksgiving as we drive by the place my Dad collapsed tonight for the EMT's that worked hard to try to save him
*to dance goofy just like Daddy did
*to kiss my husband deeply as a thank you for walking through this with me
*to cry freely if I want to
*to not feel guilty if I don't
*to hug Leeners and wish I could hug Ryan in Europe
*to remember my Daddy


bug2330 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bug2330 said...

i love this. you have inspired me to think about those types of things about my dad. i still have moments where i think about picking up the phone to tell my dad something- and he's been gone 7 years this last july. praying for you and your family today.


jhjumper said...

Amy - Today I am drinking Coke from a Baja Fresh cup, dancing a little goofy, hugging Mommy, eating Mo's clam chowder and rooting only for the Pac-10. I love you and wish we could hug you too.
PS I love what you wrote about not feeling guilty if you don't, and crying if you need to, and laughing lots. That is how I feel too and the freedom to say it is a sweet sisterly gift. Love you.

BabyBrock said...

Very beautiful post Amy. Praying for you guys today. Hope to see you when you are back in the NW.

Colleen Wachob said...

Just read this... I guess I didn't have time to read it while you were here! :) Now it makes sense that you let Elisa and Sadie sip your Coke. Love you! Read The Rag Coat with kiddos this morning and talked about the death of Minna's dad. Showed pictures of Boppa and the articles from the paper.... then read "God Gave us Heaven." I had forgotten how timely that preschool would be.

Joce said...

Amy what a wonderful perspective~you made me cry (albiet I'm pregnant but you words were beautifully said). . .and what a wonderful way to remember you dad. Thank you for sharing.