A Week of Reflection

Ephraim and I returned from a week in Oregon on Monday. We went down to visit my mom and my sister Colleen who was visiting from Wyoming. I have lots of fun pictures to share in future posts. I spent a lot of time this past week thinking about and talking about my dad. The 7th of May was Ryan's 22nd birthday. So far only my mom and I have had birthdays without my dad here. I hurt for Ryan - as it seems like Dad should still be here and it is hard to be happy when your dad is not there on your birthday. It has been 7 months but I still expect him to call me - and I hear his voice often. My mom, Colleen and I did a lot of talking and crying this week. We talked about how Ephraim looks like some of my dad's baby pictures, what my dad would be doing if he were here right now, etc. We talked about how my dad is still impacting people - he was recently given a meritorious service award from the Jackson Chamber of Commerce. A few weeks ago, my friend Hannah called me and she had been thinking of my dad - so we talked and cried together. My mom, Colleen and I talked about how it is so great to have friends that share the depth of our pain with us and so many months later understand the need for us to talk and cry with them.

There were two very special moments regarding my dad this past week. On Saturday we tried to go shopping at the outlet mall (it didn't work out too well - Ephraim and Sadie had other ideas.) When we got there I went into the restroom to feed Ephraim. I was bored (he's a slow eater) and I was reading old text messages. The oldest text message in my phone is from my dad - back in August I was teaching him how to text and he sent me his first text message. It said "I luv you." It was amazing to see that text and is a sweet reminder of my dad. The other special moment was going to the cemetery with the three grandkids. I got to introduce Ephraim to his "Boppa." Elisa, Sadie and Ephraim were very loved by their grandpa. Even though he never got the chance to meet Sadie or Ephraim - he was SO excited to be having two more grandkids.