Monday, November 12, 2007

A New Journey

I have been contemplating starting blogging again for a few weeks. My difficulty has been where to start. In the last month my life has been completely turned around. I look at my last post and can only think of all the different emotions that we experienced that day. Forrest and I started out that morning going to the doctor's for an ultrasound. Immediately afterwards we called my dad to let him know that everything was looking great. He was so excited to hear about his grandchild and to know that everything was okay. I am very grateful that I was able to have that conversation with my dad. In so many ways it exemplifies who my dad was: vibrant, funny, but most of all madly in love with his children and future grandchild. It still seems surreal that just a few hours later he was gone. The last month has been very difficult and quite strange. Life continues to move forward, even when I don't want it to.

So, where do I go from here? I will continue to blog about what Forrest and I have been up to (our trip to Hawaii). I will share about the pregnancy (and how at 17 weeks, I don't look pregnant.) But I will also share about my grief; my struggles with God's timing; about how God is amazingly sovereign; and about what a great guy my dad was. In the last month I have realized how many people my dad impacted with his life. My dad's faith, vibrance for life, and sense of humor touched those around him deeply - even those who did not know him for long. I desire to honor my dad by emulating his best characteristics - which I believe came from his loving devotion to Christ. It is my prayer that during this new journey, my faith and love for Christ deepen - because my dad would see that as the greatest honor of all.


Hannah said...

Your words about your dad, and your "new normal" bring tears to my eyes. I am still so sorry for your loss - for everyone's loss - and can't begin to imagine the difficulty of moving forward.

You are in my thoughts and prayers. I love you, my friend.

Living the Life.... said...

I wish I could give you a great big hug or you give me one, since I'm crying! I am so sorry you had to lose such a great person in your life. I know what it's like, so if you need anyone to talk to let me know.

jhjumper said...

Hey sweetie, thanks for writing what we all want to put into words. I haven't been able to write about Dad anywhere yet, but I want to be able to - its just that there's so much to say and too many emotions to go through. I love you a ton.