Saturday, June 30, 2007

A Secret Society

This week has been rough for me, and although I don't know why this particular week is more difficult than others, I have decided to share with the blogging world the secret society that Forrest and I have sadly joined.

In the beginning of April, Forrest and I found out that we were unexpectedly pregnant. After the shock wore off we started to get excited! I went to the doctors and everything looked great. A few days later, on April 17th, I miscarried. It is hard to explain the depth of emotion that you feel for a person you have never met. The past two and a half months have been incredibly up and down - one day I feel fine, another day I am incredibly sad. The good thing though, is that everyday gets just a little bit better. There is a song by Watermark that has been soothing on my soul, and reminds me that God is in control and He knows what He is doing, even if I don't understand. If you don't mind - I would like to share it.

Glory baby you slipped away as fast as we could say baby,baby..
You were growing, what happened dear?
You disappeared on us baby,baby..
Heaven will hold you before we do
Heaven will keep you safe until we're home with you
Until we're home with you
Miss you everyday Miss you in every way
But we know there's a day when we will hold you We will hold you
You'll kiss our tears away When we're home to stay
Can't wait for the day when we will see you We will see you
But baby let sweet Jesus hold you
till mom and dad can hold you
You'll just have heaven before we do You'll just have heaven before we do
Sweet little babies, it's hard to understand it cause we're hurting We are hurting
But there is healing
And we know we're stronger people through the growing
And in knowing- That all things work together for our good
And God works His purposes just like He said He would. Just like He said He would.

I am sorry to those that I did not share this with earlier. It is the secret society part of it. I have found that miscarriages are not talked about very much. It is also a difficult topic to bring up in the midst of a conversation. Although I have found that talking about it is healing. Sorry that this is a downer post - but it has been burning on my heart for the past two and a half months, and I am finally feeling ready to share it. Thanks for reading.



Living the Life.... said...

I am so so sorry. I'm glad you were able to share your heart, it really does help.

Andrea said...

My heart aches for you. I am so sorry.